Dealing with Emotionally Immature People (and Parents) with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Dr. Gibson and I explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. We start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. We then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries.

About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parentsand Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What is emotional immaturity?

7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms

14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally mature caregivers

18:50: The “role-self” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy

25:15: Receiving guidance and stability from the authentic self

29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood

41:25: First steps to connect with the authentic self and having healthier relationships

50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships

56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance

1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base

1:06:20: Recap

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